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Writing Advice

How to find filter words and filter them out

Filter words. Think you’ve never heard of them? If you’re an author, I can guarantee you include them in your writing—and often. Filter words can be a big problem for any author, but they are particularly pesky for newer writers who may not be as familiar with  the concept just yet. Fear not—we are here to explain what filter words are, why they’re (usually) a problem, and how you can eliminate them in your fiction writing.

What are filter words?

Essentially, filter words (sometimes known as filter phrases) are words a writer uses to show a scene, setting, or situation through a character’s perspective. While that may not sound like a bad thing (and indeed, sometimes it isn’t), there are a few common issues that can crop up with filter words:

    • Filter words add a layer or interruption between the reader and the scene you are painting.
    • Filter words often make sentences feel clunky or overly wordy.
    • Filter words can cause repetition.

Susan Dennard of Pub(lishing) Crawl sums it up nicely: “Filters are words or phrases you tack onto the start of a sentence that show the world as it is filtered through the main character’s eyes.”

Of course you want your reader to live the characters’ experience, but filter words won’t help you. They’re some of the weakest words you can write, in fact, because instead of putting your reader in the character’s shoes, you’re putting another layer between them.

Filter words list

As a book editor, I make it a point to eliminate unnecessary filter words in every manuscript I work on. Susan Dennard provides this list of common filter words to look for, and I’ve added a couple more for good measure:

    • to see
    • to hear
    • to think
    • to touch
    • to wonder
    • to realize
    • to watch
    • to look
    • to seem
    • to feel (or feel like)
    • can/could/couldn’t
    • to decide
    • to know
    • to sound like
    • to notice
    • to be able to
    • to note
    • to experience
  • to remember

Filter out the filter words for a stronger narrative.

And these are just the most common ones! To show you their devastation in action, here’s an example of a short, filter-ful paragraph with the filter words bolded:

Maria noticed James had gone silent and was staring past her out the coffee shop window. Turning and looking herself, she saw a beautiful woman on the sidewalk, talking animatedly on a mobile phone. Maria felt a little tug of jealousy, and she turned back around furiously and stared at James, who jumped and looked down at his espresso. She realized he wasn’t blushing, but he seemed uncomfortable. “Who is that?” she asked as she watched his face for any sign of guilt. She wondered if he could ever tell her the truth. She decided right then this would be his last chance to regain her trust.

And here it is reworked slightly with the filter words eliminated:

James had gone silent and was staring past Maria out the coffee shop window. A beautiful woman was outside, talking animatedly on her mobile phone. Jealousy tugged at Maria’s gut, and she glared at James, who jumped and shifted his eyes to his espresso. He wasn’t blushing, but that didn’t mean anything. “Who is that?” she asked. Was he guilty again? Was he even capable of telling the truth? Perhaps he deserved one more chance to regain her trust. 

The difference between these two paragraphs is striking. By removing the filter words from a first person narrative, you’ll coax out your narrator’s voice so it rings clearly in the reader’s mind. And regardless of the POV, your reader will feel the experience of your characters more deeply and directly.

How to eliminate filter words in your writing

It’s almost impossible to write a novel manuscript without having some (or many) filter words slip into your text. Reviewing this list ahead of a long writing session, however, will keep them in mind as you are writing, and hopefully help you avoid them as you work.

Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to edit out filter words in your writing. But with a bit of dedication (and time, of course), you can use the trusty “find” function in your writing software of choice to scan for the above phrases. It may not eliminate every instance of filter words, but it’s a great place to start and will help you get a better sense of how often you’re using them.

Sometimes filter words are an essential part of the meaning of the sentence, and in those rare cases, you’ll want to keep them in. But knowing which ones to strike and which to keep requires just a little bit of critical thinking. When you’re editing your own work, ask yourself: What essential information am I leaving out by removing this filter word and/or restructuring the sentence? If the answer is “none,” then put a line through it or hit that delete key.

You may be unable to keep yourself from writing filter words in a first draft, but after a while, filtering out the filters will become second nature—and your manuscripts will be stronger as a result.

For more examples of filter words in action, check out Pub(lishing) Crawl and Write it Sideways.

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Uncategorized

7 simple tips for writing a better book blurb

So, you’ve finished writing your manuscript—congratulations!—and you’re following all the prescribed next steps. You’ve gotten feedback from beta readers, and had your book professionally edited and proofread. You even have a plan for distribution once your novel hits the (e-)bookshelves.

You’ve got a marketing plan, too. There’s just one little piece of it left, but somehow it has you cowering in a corner.

The dreaded book blurb.

There are plenty of common fears among writers, but writing a book blurb is way up there on the list of daunting tasks. How do you convince readers—in just a few hundred words—that your book is the one they should read next? Knowing it’s an essential piece of your marketing package can make it even more stressful.

After helping dozens of self-published authors produce stellar book blurbs for their novels, I’ve compiled a set of seven simple tips for writing a blurb that will be sure to lure readers new and old.

1. Hook your reader and reel them in.

“You think you know the truth. The truth is you know nothing.”
Fool Me Once by Harlan Coben

“In the heart of Trenton, N.J., a killer is out to make sure someone gets his just desserts.” —Turbo Twenty-Three by Janet Evanovich

“The traffickers. The drug dealers. The smugglers. They know what it takes to get a gun into Morocco, and so does Detective Laafrit.”
Whitefly by Abdelilah Hamdouchi

What do the quotes above have in common? They all happen to be opening lines from blurbs of books published in 2016, but more importantly, they all make me want to keep reading. Not every great book has a great hook on the cover (trust me, I’ve looked at a lot of them). But when you’re self-publishing your novel, a strong hook can do wonders for catching readers’ interest. Even if it’s not as pithy as Harlan Coben’s, your blurb should open with an enticing tidbit—at least, enticing enough to get the reader to move on to the second line.

A fishing pole being cast into a body of water

2. Focus on the main character(s).

Fiction readers love great characters, and a blurb is your first opportunity to introduce your readers to your protagonist. The bulk of your blurb should focus on the protagonist (and what’s happening to them). If you find yourself talking about minor characters, especially in the opening lines, your blurb probably isn’t living up to its potential. Does your novel include dual POVs? Then both your protagonists should make an appearance!

Keep in mind, we don’t want your main character’s whole life story—just a basic outline that shows why the protagonist (or what’s about to happen to them) is intriguing. It’s even possible to have your whole blurb focus on a main character, if the story itself is heavily character-driven.

3. Don’t summarize.

This is probably the most common blurb-related mistake I see as a book editor. As you sit down to write your blurb, it’s only natural to be thinking about all the ins and outs of your story. So you start typing away, and before you know it, you have a summary chock-full of plot points and details. Here’s the problem: if I can get the whole story from the blurb, why would I bother to open the cover?

Give your readers only the most important nuggets they need to understand what makes the book worth reading—never reveal the twist, the grand finale, or the entire arc of any character.

4. Cultivate mystique.

My best advice when it comes to writing a book blurb is to think of it like a teaser or a movie trailer. Rather than telling readers what to expect in any great detail (see No. 3), use this opportunity to entice them to start reading in the first place.

Imagine potential readers skimming blurbs for books in the same genre as yours, trying to find the next novel they want to sit down with. Beyond that catchy hook you’ve written, what makes your book the most intriguing? Once you have a good sense of that, don’t state it outright—use creative language to hint at what the reader will want to find out. Apply the principle of show vs. tell to your blurb, just as you did to your prose.

Spooky stairs leading into a dark basement.
What’s down those stairs? Don’t give it away!

5. Embrace the drama.

Writing your book blurb is a good excuse to go a little over the top. Be hyperbolic! Use metaphor! Many book blurbs start or end on a question (e.g., Will they be able to solve the mystery before time runs out?).

The following blurb for Paula Hawkins’s The Girl on the Train uses a tight two-paragraph structure with a catchy lead-in before each, a bit of hyperbole, and a hypothetical question to wrap things up:

EVERY DAY THE SAME

Rachel takes the same commuter train every morning and night. Every day she rattles down the track, flashes past a stretch of cozy suburban homes, and stops at the signal that allows her to daily watch the same couple breakfasting on their deck. She’s even started to feel like she knows them. Jess and Jason, she calls them. Their life—as she sees it—is perfect. Not unlike the life she recently lost.

UNTIL TODAY

And then she sees something shocking. It’s only a minute until the train moves on, but it’s enough. Now everything’s changed. Unable to keep it to herself, Rachel goes to the police. But is she really as unreliable as they say? Soon she is deeply entangled not only in the investigation but in the lives of everyone involved. Has she done more harm than good?

In short, it’s dramatic—but not so dramatic that I roll my eyes and click away. That’s the sort of balance you’re aiming to strike.

6. Keep it short and sweet.

In most cases, your blurb should be between 200-300 words. With nonfiction or self-help books, where you really need to sell your reader on what they’re going to get out of it, you can get away with a longer blurb. If you’re already a well-known writer, your blurb might be a bit longer too, since you may include some promotional quotes and praise that your work has received. But, newbie writers, beware: calling your book a “page-turner” or yourself a “gifted storyteller” in your own promotional blurb might make you come off more pompous than professional.

7. Consider your blurb in a marketing context.

If you’re going the traditional publishing route, the team at your publisher should have this covered. But what if you’re self-publishing? Perhaps you’re tackling marketing all on your own, or you’ve enlisted the services of a private marketing consultant. Either way, your marketing team isn’t exactly gigantic, so you’ve really got to do your due diligence.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Does my blurb convey the right mood for the novel?
  • Do the blurb and the cover (and my other marketing materials) go together thematically?
  • What styles of blurbs are other authors in my genre writing?

A little market research—aka reading other blurbs on various e-book retailers—can help you make sure you’re (a) not copying anyone else and (b) keeping in line with your readers’ expectations. After all, when it comes down to it, the point of your book blurb is to, well, sell your book!

I hope these seven writing tips are just what you need to start or finish an amazing book blurb for your upcoming novel. If you’re still having trouble getting it right, or you want a fresh pair of eyes on your copy, Invisible Ink Editing can help! Click here to learn more about our blurb editing service, or send us an email with questions anytime.

—Leah Wohl-Pollack, Senior Editor

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Self Publishing Advice Writing Advice

Andrew Butcher on writing motivation and how to outline a novel

Why can’t I write a book series?

This simple thought changed everything for author Andrew Butcher. Like many writers, Andrew never dreamed of becoming an author—in fact, he didn’t even like reading much until he discovered Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles as a teenager.

“I devoured the series,” Andrew said. “I was at college at the time, and I began writing whatever came to me, with no thoughts of plotting or character development or anything like that.”

(A note for American readers: college = high school.)

But it was Charlaine Harris’s The Southern Vampire Mysteries that got him wondering why he wasn’t writing the kind of dark and gruesome novels he loved to read.

 

“It was as simple as that,” said Andrew. “I began plotting and planning my series, then began writing, and eventually I had my first book, A Death Displaced.”

A Death Displaced is the first of the Lansin Island books, a paranormal series set on a mysterious island in the Celtic Sea. Andrew is currently working on some nonfiction projects and a new standalone fiction piece, but still plans to write more Lansin Island novels.

Andrew took a break from juggling his many projects to chat with Invisible Ink about his writing life, and offer some sage advice to new writers. Read our interview with Andrew Butcher below!

To keep up with Andrew’s writing, be sure to sign up for his newsletter. Andrew can be reached on his website, www.andrew-butcher.com, as well as on his Facebook and Goodreads author pages. You can also follow him on Twitter @Andybutch13.

Your paranormal books, the Lansin Island series, have reached the No. 1 spot for their categories on Amazon (Paranormal & Urban Fantasy/Paranormal Suspense/Supernatural Suspense). How did you get the idea for the series?

The idea for the Lansin Island series essentially came from a “what if?” question. It was a question I came up with in college, years before I started writing seriously: If someone was fated to die, but they were somehow saved, what would the consequences be?

Ebook Cover for Displaced by Andrew Butcher
Displaced contains the first three books in the Lansin Island series.

From there, I kept asking and answering more questions until I had the beginnings of a story. I came up with the premise that the person who was saved from their fated death would begin to see ghosts, because although they were physically saved, fate wouldn’t let them off that easily. The person would still spiritually die and their soul would move on to the Otherworld. This state of being “displaced”—anchored in two worlds at once—would give the person the ability to see spirits from the realm that lies in between the two worlds: the Spiritworld.

From that initial “what if?”’ question, I managed to develop an entire world and rules for it; every new answer created more questions, which needed more answers. It’s a lot of fun coming up with ideas this way!

With the first three books in the Lansin Island series complete, you decided to branch out into creative writing instruction. Tell us about Write a Novel Outline from Scratch!, your popular video course on Udemy, and now an eBook as well.

Write a Novel Outline from Scratch! guides anyone with an interest in writing fiction through the entire process of outlining a story (from scratch!), so that by the time they have finished doing the exercises, they will feel ready to write.

I decided to create the video course because I know a few people who constantly talk about how much they would love to write, BUT [insert excuse]. Often the reasons they haven’t begun writing are variations of “I don’t know where to start,” or “I have a great idea, but I don’t have any characters,” or simply “I don’t think I’d be any good at it.”

And when I thoughtThe eBook cover for Write a Novel Outline from Scratch! by Andrew Butcher about it, I realized that most people start from the same place, really. I wasn’t born with story ideas in my head. I didn’t know much about writing when I began. But I managed to create a process that has helped me write three full-length novels, and I’ve put my work out there.

I hope that people who read Write a Novel Outline from Scratch! or take the Udemy course will come away feeling confident in their ability to outline a complete novel, including character bios, location summaries, and much more. There are so many naysayers who will happily tell you why you shouldn’t, can’t, or will never write a book—but the truth is, you can if you want to, whether you believe in yourself or not. This is one tool to help you begin your writing journey.

What have you learned from teaching others about outlining? Has your personal outlining process changed?

There are too many things I’ve learned to name them all! Students of the Udemy course share their own outlining processes on the course’s forum all the time, and I’ve learned loads of great tips from them. So yes, my process has changed a little because of this.

I think writers are always adapting their approach to writing, learning more with each new project. I try to never think of my own process as a fixed formula. I encourage all of my students to take the parts that work for them, leave the parts that don’t, add anything else that already works for them, and keep on experimenting.

“I love great characters and compelling stories. I also read plenty of nonfiction, because I hate the thought of stagnating; stagnation equals death, in my mind.”

Any other advice for budding authors?

Learn to trust in your own voice and writing process. Take criticism with a pinch of salt. Of course, you should take feedback on board. But there are so many writers and readers out there who try to tell you that their way is the way, when actually some of their advice might be generally helpful, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everybody. It may even be harmful. And don’t obsessively check reviews and sales; these things fluctuate and will throw you off center if you come to rely on them.

You’ll hear that to be a writer you have to write every single day. You don’t. Also, some people will say that if you’re not enjoying the writing process, then you’re doing something wrong and your quality of writing will drop noticeably. Not true! I’ve written while in almost every mood and even while depressed, but it doesn’t seem as if any, or at least many, readers have been able to tell.

The list of “truths” and “rules” regarding writing is endless. But ultimately, you have to decide for yourself what feels authentic. None of my favorite authors are known for following the rules; they’re known for the exact opposite.

Finally, learn to “switch off” from your writing when you’re not doing it. Otherwise the people around you will sense that you’re not really present. In other words, seek balance.

Are you a tried-and-true “plotter,” or do you consider yourself a “pantser” at times?

It’s different for each project, but I think in general, I’m about 80 percent plotter and 20 percent pantser. But it also depends on what part of the writing process I’m at. Most of the time I plot so heavily that I (think I) know the story inside out, but then when it comes to writing, I mostly put the outline aside and just go with the flow. This allows me to enjoy the writing, and to be surprised if the story takes new directions. But I also have the comfort of knowing that if I get too far off track, I can look at my outline again.

What inspires you to write if you’re not in the mood?

I find it really difficult to do anything I don’t feel in the mood to do. If I get any whiff of obligation, I will find a trillion ways to resist doing the work. I’m so good at procrastinating that I even wrote a short nonfiction piece called How to Procrastinate … Like a Pro!: 101 of the Most Deadly Procrastination Techniques. (Even writing this book was a practice in procrastination; I was avoiding finishing the third book of the Lansin Island series at the time!)

If I’m really struggling to write, I create a reward system where I write for two or three hours and then take a break to eat or watch an episode of whatever TV show I’m currently addicted to. I also try to remind myself before sitting down to write that most things are never as difficult or frightening as we imagine them to be. After breaking through the first twenty to thirty minutes of writing, in which the resistance is strongest, I usually find some flow and enjoy it more than I expected to.

You’re entirely self-published. What does your editing and publishing process look like?

I’m really happy with my editing process because I was lucky enough to find a great editor I’ve been working with for a few years now: Leah from Invisible Ink Editing.

Ebook Cover for A Note Below by Andrew ButcherBecause I’m a bit of a perfectionist, my first drafts are usually fairly clean (I think—Leah might disagree!). But I always go over everything again at least once myself before sending it to Leah, who then makes her edits and sends it back to me. I then approve or reject her edits (I approve 99.99 percent of them!), and then I usually send a copy of the book to around fifteen beta readers, who are fans of my series. They usually notice a couple of easy-to-miss mistakes, which I edit immediately. If more than two or three of my beta readers comment on the same issue, like some dialogue sounding out of character, I will look at that particular thing and consider changing it. But normally this is just a final sweep.

Then I pay for a professional book cover and formatting. I’ve been using Damonza.com for these services for the past few years, and I highly recommend them. It normally takes up to a month for me to decide on a cover and formatting I’m happy with.

Finally, I fill out all the information on Amazon and the other platforms and hit “publish”!

Lansin Island seems like an interesting place to live. Would you want to live there if you could?

Knowing what is really going on behind the scenes on Lansin Island, I don’t think I would live there. I’d go on holiday there, though, especially for one of the celebrations they hold for the seasonal Sabbats! And I’d visit the The Burning Grounds too.

If you could ask one of the characters in the Lansin Island series to tea, who would it be?

I don’t want to give away spoilers, but it would have to be someone from the Otherworld, because I’d want to know everything about their world and their magic! Otherwise, it would be Tamara Trewin, the last living descendent of the Lansin Island Witches. Because she’s a true witch, I’d ask her about her magic too. Also, I think she’d make a good cuppa.

Andrew Butcher currently resides in Hitchin, England, with his partner and their pet tortoise, Tricky. They hope to move to the Costa Blanca region of Spain one day.

The Lansin Island series, Write a Novel Outline from Scratch!, and more of Andrew Butcher’s books are available on Amazon and other online eBook retailers. To learn more about Andrew’s writing or to get in touch, visit www.andrew-butcher.com.

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Writing Advice

You might not know you’re making these grammar mistakes, part 2 Passive voice and run-on sentences

By Leah Wohl-Pollack, Lead Editor This is part two of our series on common grammar mistakes you might not know you’re making. Check out part 1, which covers misplaced modifiers and dangling participles, here. In this post, we’ll cover two more grammar mistakes indie writers often make: passive voice and run-on sentences. By the end of this post, I hope you feel a little more confident about editing your writing for grammar. It's called grammar

1. Passive voice

You may or may not remember from English class that all verbs are either active or passive in voice. In sentences with active verbs, the subject takes responsibility for the action. With passive voice, the action is not attributed to a subject at all. Despite what you might have heard, passive voice isn’t inherently bad; in fact, it makes frequent appearances in political and legal writing, and with good reason. It can be useful for a writer who wants to avoid attributing responsibility to a particular person or group:

The president was advised not to sign the bill.

In this example, the writer may not want to list out who advised the president, so the passive form is appropriate. Passive voice is also useful when the “do-er” of the sentence isn’t necessarily important:

The constellation can be observed from September to February.

Since anyone with the ability to see and a view of the night sky can observe the constellation, using the passive form of the verb is fine to keep the subject open. Twinkling stars But when you’re writing fiction, you’ll probably want to avoid the passive voice (except in a few special cases). In order to drive the narrative forward on a sentence-by-sentence basis, you must allow—nay, encourage!—your subjects to own their actions. Here’s an example of passive voice that I might come across when editing fiction:

Mike’s breath was held as Lynn peered over the edge of the cliff.

It’s almost definitely important to the narrative that Mike is nervous about Lynn’s safety, and describing Mike holding his breath is a good storytelling choice when you consider the concept of show vs. tell. But the passive form of the verb (was held) is clunking everything up. This use of the passive voice attributes the action to no subject at all, even though the subject here is essential to the story. To rephrase the sentence with active voice, we simply need to attribute the action (held) to the correct subject (Mike):

Mike held his breath as Lynn peered over the edge of the cliff.

What a difference! This switch to active voice keeps the sentence flowing smoothly, and the reader stays immersed in the scene. It also helps show what Mike is feeling without telling the reader outright.

2. Run-on sentences

Generally speaking, a sentence (also known as an independent clause) is made up of a subject and a verb. A compound sentence contains two or more independent clauses tied together with either a conjunction or a punctuation mark. Sometimes, you might find yourself tying together multiple independent clauses—but you’ve neglected to include the appropriate conjunction(s) or punctuation. Enter the dreaded run-on sentence. As a book editor, I come across these puppies here and there. But how are you supposed to recognize a run-on sentence when you’re self-editing your novel? Here’s an example of a run-on sentence:

I love to go to the coffee shop next door to work on my writing it is always easy to concentrate there.

This sentence contains two independent clauses that haven’t been properly tied together; in other words, it’s missing a conjunction and/or punctuation mark. If you’re not immediately sure whether a sentence you’ve written is a run-on, or you know it’s a run-on but can’t tell where the missing conjunction or punctuation mark should go, you can try the question trick. This is a simple method that involves turning your sentence into a yes-or-no question. If the whole sentence can be easily rephrased into a single question, it’s not a run-on. If it needs to be turned into two questions, then you know it’s a run-on and you know where to put the missing conjunction or punctuation! Let me show you how it’s done. Using the example above, we find the first part of the sentence is easily turned into a single yes-or-no question:

Do I love to go to the coffee shop next door to work on my writing?

But if we try to turn the entire sentence into a single question, it doesn’t fly:

Do I love to go to the coffee shop next door to work on my writing it is always easy to concentrate there?

To make it work, we would need two separate questions:

Do I love to go to the coffee shop next door to work on my writing? Is it always easy to concentrate there?

This trick has shown us we definitely have a run-on sentence on our hands. On top of that, we also know exactly where in the sentence to insert the missing piece: between the words writing and it is. In this case, we could solve the problem in two ways: either using a punctuation mark on its own, or a conjunction with a punctuation mark. Using a punctuation mark:

I love to go to the coffee shop next door to work on my writing; it is always easy to concentrate there.

Note that not just any punctuation mark will work. In this example, inserting a comma instead of a semicolon would create another problem: a comma splice. But if you despise semicolons or would just rather use a comma, be sure to pair it with the appropriate conjunction. conjunction-junction Using a conjunction with a punctuation mark:

I love to go to the coffee shop next door to work on my writing, because it is always easy to concentrate there.

That wraps up part 2 of our series on grammar mistakes you might not know you’re making. With these two posts, I hope to prepare you to tackle your self-editing head-on. At the same time, we all know catching every one of your own grammar errors is darn near impossible. That’s why, after you’ve done your part, you can send your manuscript to Invisible Ink, where we’ll fix your errors and keep your voice.

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Writing Advice

You might not know you’re making these grammar mistakes Part 1: Misplaced modifiers and dangling participles

By Leah Wohl-Pollack, Lead Editor This may come as a shock, considering I’ve been known to fall asleep cradling my Chicago Manual of Style, but I don’t believe proper grammar is the be-all and end-all when it comes to good creative writing. Like to split infinitives? No problem. Want to end a sentence in a preposition? Be my guest. But when you’re an indie author writing a novel, there are a few style and grammar rules you should always pay attention to. (See what I did there?) In this post, I’ll give you a rundown of two common grammar mistakes—misplaced modifiers and dangling participles—and some tools you can use to eliminate them from your writing. Check that grammar

1. Misplaced modifiers

Misplaced modifiers are among my favorite grammar mistakes, mostly for their unintended humor. Modifiers come in several forms: words, phrases, and clauses. Because they warrant their own discussion, we’ll cover modifying phrases/clauses in the next section on dangling participles. Right now, let’s look at the issue of misplaced adjectives and adverbs. As you may know, a modifier is a word or phrase that describes a noun within the same sentence. It usually describes the noun it is closest to, which is why misplacing one can cause undesired absurdity or confusion. Here’s an example of a sentence with a misplaced adjective:

The flimsy man’s kite ripped when it got caught in a tree.

Spoken aloud, the meaning may or may not be clear, but written down, there’s an obvious problem. The adjective flimsy is meant to describe the noun kite, but in its current placement, it’s modifying the noun man. Placing the modifier correctly would look like this:

The man’s flimsy kite ripped when it got caught in a tree.

 

strike-that-reverse-it

Easy enough. But what about when a misplaced modifier is an adverb rather than an adjective? For example:

They considered whether to play the game Sarah had brought thoughtfully.

While Sarah may have consciously brought a particular game to the party, to say she had brought it thoughtfully doesn’t make a lot of sense. Instead, the modifying adverb thoughtfully should be moved to sit in front of the verb it is intended to modify.

They thoughtfully considered whether to play the game Sarah had brought.

A misplaced adverb can also cause something called a squinting modifier—a modifier that could potentially look toward (hence the word “squinting”) either the noun before or after it. Take a look at the example below, as squinting modifiers can be tricky to spot.

Runners who practice often can go longer distances before getting tired.

The squinting modifier in this sentence allows for two potential interpretations:

Runners practice often so they can go longer distances. Runners can often go longer distances as a result of practicing.

How you fix this sentence will depend on your intended meaning. If it’s the first meaning you’re going for, you could try rephrasing the sentence without an adverb to avoid further confusion:

Regular practice helps runners go longer distances before getting tired.

If it’s the second meaning, you could try a more descriptive adverb:

Runners who practice can usually run longer distances before getting tired.

 

2. Dangling participles

As I mentioned earlier, dangling participles are a particular kind of misplaced modifier, and an incredibly common one at that—I find at least one in every novel I edit. In order to understand how not to dangle participles, let’s start with a quick refresher on what they are. To form a participle, take any verb (let’s go with sleep) and add an -ing ending. Then you have the present participle of the verb (sleeping). To use the present participle as a modifier, you could write:

Don’t wake the sleeping cat.

The participle sleeping acts as a modifier for the noun cat.   sleeping-cat Still with me? Good. Let’s move on to participial phrases. A participial phrase contains a participle and modifies the subject of a sentence. It’s just like the sleeping cat, but it has two clauses instead of one. Here’s an example of a participial phrase used correctly:

Smiling at everyone she passed, Stacy walked to the restaurant.

          Participial phrase (modifier): Smiling at everyone she passed           Subject of the sentence (noun): Stacy A dangling participle typically occurs at the beginning of a sentence, like with the previous example, but unlike the misplaced modifiers we covered in section one, you can’t fix a dangling participle just by moving it to a different spot in the sentence. The reason is that a dangling participle ties the modifier to the wrong subject, usually because the subject is either missing or in the wrong place. Here’s an example of a sentence with a dangling participle at the beginning—a popular construction:

Watching the clock, the minutes drag by.

So the participial phrase occurs right at the beginning of the sentence; that’s fine. The problem occurs in the second clause, where we seem to have a missing persons case on our hands. Here, the minutes take the subject’s place. In other words, the minutes are watching the clock. How do you fix this? Well, somebody must be watching the clock, and it’s certainly not the minutes. Insert the correct subject, and you’ve got a complete sentence again:

Watching the clock, Stacy felt the minutes drag by.

This solution works, although it requires an extra verb that also happens to be a filter word (feel). Not the best choice stylistically.   star-wars-bad-feeling Another solution would be to rephrase the sentence so the subject comes first:

Stacy watched the clock, feeling the minutes drag by.

That works—but that extra filter word feel is still sneaking in. To get rid of it, we could try rephrasing another way:

Stacy watched the clock as the minutes dragged by. -or- The minutes dragged by as Stacy watched the clock.

The last option is my favorite for its slightly stronger voice, but there’s nothing wrong with the other options if they suit your style.   Hopefully this post has given you some insight into two common grammar rules worth paying attention to as you’re writing and editing your novel. Don’t be discouraged if you find you struggle with these mistakes—many writers do! Thanks for reading, and keep an eye out for the second part of this series—we’ll tackle passive voice and run-ons, two more of the most common grammar mistakes in creative writing.